The Goth Gamer

When I started this experiment, the only two rules I gave myself were to turn down no date unless I felt uncomfortable and to write about all of the experiences.

So when an unexpected opportunity descended into the picture, I thought there’s not a better time than now to just dive in. As you may recall I did a little social experiment involving fake profiles on a dating website. Remember the final faux dater? The stupid one? The one with hundreds of messages?? One of those messages was from The Goth Gamer.

“I have a couple of friends who might like to meet you,” his message read.
“Are these friends in your pants??”

He instant messaged. “I walked right into that one, huh?” Indeed he did. “Is that really a picture of you?” “Of course it is,” I lied. He didn’t need to know who I really was, right? We continued chatting. I checked out his profile, which seemed different than other guys’. This became a challenge, so the messaging continued. Before long he came clean. “I’m a moderator on this site, and I actually contacted you to catch you.”

My plan was found out. I panicked. “I see. Well, in the interest of full disclosure, I’m doing a social experiment.” I told him everything and gave him my correct email address in hopes of not being banned from the site for all eternity. I let him know I was a writer simply testing some theories. He told me I needed to remove the fake picture. Eventually we moved to g-chat using our real names.

I knew what he looked like from his profile. I knew his job. I knew everything he had divulged on his profile. He knew nothing except that I was a writer, was witty and clever, and made good conversation. I liked it this way. It somehow gave my experiment an interesting twist. After two hours (yes, two hours we chatted into the late hours of the night), I finally signed off.

The next day I got a Facebook friend request from this seriously cute, black-adorned, Mohawk-sporting, game designer. “I had no idea you were so cute,” he messaged me. I guess he was expecting a frumpy, middle-aged, crazy housewife a la Catfish – maybe he’s doing a dating experiment himself. I normally don’t do the Facebook thing with boys, let alone boys I don’t know. But I thought why not?

After a couple of days of playing the getting-to-know-you game via every technological means he could find, he asked me if I wanted to go out. Following my newfound rules of dating, I said yes... though I wasn’t sure if he meant as friends or more. This was quite a unique dynamic we were setting up, and I kind of loved the game we were playing. We met at restaurant in my hood, his choice, on the only day of the week it was closed. He rounded the corner…

He was beautiful. I was not expecting this. The Mohawk I was dreading from the late-30-something was completely sexy. His voice was melting. His eyes were piercing – the kind of baby blues that never fail to stop me. How did I miss this on Facebook? Shows how uninvested I suppose I was.

We decided to walk to the next restaurant option. He was authoritative and prepared. I let him order for me… why not just throw all the regular rules out the window? This might have been one of the best meals of my life. I tried to not go on and on and on about it. As he talked it was uncanny how much we had in common in our views of love and relationships and dating. Maybe two cynical commitment-phobes make a good pair – at least for a date or two.

Dinner turned into coffee. Coffee turned into dessert. Dessert turned into a walk in the park. A walk in the park turned into kissing on a bench at 3am. I couldn’t believe how I was clicking with this self-proclaimed “King of the Nerds”. He walked me home, and I wasn’t sure if this was goodbye or goodnight. He was very cool.

I got a text the next afternoon. Well, well. Guess it wasn’t goodbye after all. We made a movie date and met up at a restaurant of his choice. He was late. Never a great way to start a date (a second one at that). But I’m a relatively laidback gal and certainly can cautiously move on. Dinner was fantastic again (the boy knows his food). In the movie I surprisingly didn’t find myself in that weird is-he-gonna-try-to-hold-my-hand/junior-high-school mentality that I feel we ladies tend to do at times. It was comfortable, like someone I’ve known for awhile. He wasn’t grabby, but it was clear he wasn’t just a friend. After the movie we went back to my place. I wasn’t ready for the whole she-bang (pun intended), but I also wasn’t ready for the date to end just yet and neither was he.

We chatted for a bit and then we kissed. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that that fool is the best kisser I’ve ever had. I mean, for real. The nerdy boys know where it’s at apparently. I was rendered useless. We continued on that path for awhile exploring, kissing, and enjoying each other. There were even neck massages at one point... whatever THAT’S about. I just wanted my hands on him, and he felt the same. Not that I plan to make this blog about my sex life (or lack thereof), but I’ll just go ahead and say that we did not have sex. Not quite sure why at this juncture that seemed relevant, but I’m gonna go with it.

I didn’t hear from him the following day, and I have to admit I was surprised. We’ve actually had limited conversations since our date the last week. I’m not sure if that means he got (or didn’t get) what he wanted and he’s done. Or if it’s just a matter of two grown New Yorkers being busy and not making time to hang out. Or if maybe I should remember this started as an experiment and if I never hear from him again, I’ll be just fine.

Anyway you spin it, I had a couple of great dates with a guy I normally would not have thought twice about (and did I mention the amazing kissing??) So if that’s all it is, it was a helluva way to start this journey.

There just may be more of The Goth Gamer. And if I’m being honest, gentle readers, I sort of hope this chapter is only the beginning with more stories to come. Stay tuned…