The August Experiment

"Grow in Faith.  Fall in Love."

Oh yes.  That happened.  Needless to say August's experiment was a bust.  For the first 6 days I got ZERO hits.  Talk about a humbling experience.  Just when I thought the whole Christian online dating thing wasn't where I belonged (imagine that), I started getting a few views... and then more views... and then some messages...

Over the course of the month I was contacted by 25 men - the majority in their 40s, including one from Texas who is a self-proclaimed "ex-gay" (I'm tempted to pay the $30 monthly fee to be able to correspond more freely with him and help him out of his lie of a life).  53% of them are from small town suburbs of NYC, in fact only one was in the five boroughs.

In the initial messages I was told an array of things such as:

• "I'm Jesus' favorite"
• "Which Greek goddess best describes you?"
• "I'm a great flirt.  Can I prove it?"
• "I desire courtship"
• "Your profile gave me a smile, so I thought I'd send you one in return"
• And my personal favorite from a somewhat portly gentleman, "I'm attractive but not unto myself" which I have no idea the meaning.

And they were all politically conservative.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that, but somehow I still am.  The lesson I learned is that Christians looking online for other Christians to date are a bit smaller-minded than I'm looking for.  I did not go on any dates from this experiment, so August has been a little dry in the way of dating.  I think I only went on 2 dates total - both real... neither prospective.  On to September!!

The July Experiment

A few weeks ago I wrote about my online experiment.  For July I picked match.com and what an interesting journalistic venture this turned out to be.

Shortly after plopping down my monthly fee to see what could happen on the ole match.com (normally $41.99 per month but I got a special rate because I know how to work things like whoa), I realized that this experiment just might be more than I bargained for.  And isn't that what all of life's lessons are about anyway?  So I went to see where my 30 days would lead.

I set up an account with limited truths but zero lies.  This was not intended to be any sort of acting experiment, I would be myself while keeping some of my passions and insecurities on the D.L.  I put several pictures of myself - none too sexy and not my best pics, but certainly none with frizzed out locks or muffin-tops.

(what are those jeans about??)

Let me just tell you, gentle readers, match.com is no joke.  When people go on match, they are looking for lifelong partners.  I had to do some fast-acting adjustments in my head and assure the Universe that I would not be intentionally leading any of these poor blokes on.  I lean toward a level of healthy self-deprecation, so when I "meet" guys who genuinely think they just might see something potentially long-term in me, I'm honestly surprised.  So coming into contact with several in one month was quite the experience.  Here's the breakdown (in a list form I'm so fond of):

• 30 "winks" received.  This is sort of a lazy way of letting someone know you're interested without having to put forth much effort.
• 14 emails received from guys who were looking for a wife and baby-mama.  I did not respond to these due to a combo of non-interest and not wanting to piss the Universe off.
• 9 guys who I continued correspondence back and forth.  5 of these never made an official move other than filling my inbox in the month.
• 4 guys who I gave my phone number to.  1 has tried to make a date - I may make this happen yet. 1 asked me to come to his apartment - I changed his name in my phone to "matchy creeper".  1 I went out with - see The Unconvertible Muscle.  And 1 I actually got excited about only to have him cancel the date last minute... he said he got back in touch with his ex and felt like he needed to give that a shot.  Boo.
• 1 old guy who I'm not convinced wasn't married looking for some play.

Even though I don't think match.com is the answer in this girl's real dating life, I give it two thumbs up for any guys or gals who are sincerely looking for love and an exclusive future with someone.  And to be clear, in my real dating life I probably am eventually looking for that.  But in the world of fake dates, I don't know I can fully get behind it in a one-month online subscription.

To give you a tiny sneak peek into August's excitement, know that the online expedition is continuing... but in a different forum.  Stay tuned...

And in closing, here are some real life messages I got on match.  Enjoy.

• "Seeking ONE REAL WOMAN for a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP ONLY!" - yelling is always a way to get your point across.
• "...seeks that special connection where we're both on the same page with our desires and dreams..."
• In an introductory email I got a FULL description of everything in this guy's life, culminating in, "Now it's your turn.  Tell me EVERYTHING.  We must keep in touch."  First contact.  First.
• "I'm looking to have someone (anyone) in my life long term."

Trial on the Interweb

I'm no stranger to the world of online dating, but after doing some research I finding I'm clearly out of the loop.  I was aware of pay sites to find dates, free sites to meet people, and even sites to find hookups.  But I had no idea just how many there are, nonetheless how many there are that are specific to certain groups - and not just those specific to religion, cultural, and sexuality.  There are dating websites for Trekkies, ugly people, cougars, STD-positives, pot smokers, and even terminally ill people.

To get an insight in the world of online dating, I'll be signing up on some sites.  I'm going to pick a couple of free ones and one pay one.  For the freebies, I'm leaning toward one generic (Plenty of Fish or OKCupid) and one themed site (Christian Mingles, J-Date, or Geek 2 Geek).  After careful consideration, I've decided to make this as honest as possible.  I'm not going for an acting exercise or a way to hone some sort of non-existent lying fetish.  So I'll steer away from lesbian sites or anything requesting specifically outside my ethnicity.

If you have suggestions for me, feel free to comment or send me a message here.

Below are a few for your viewing pleasure.  Did you know how many there were??  Do you have any horror or success stories from online dating??

Date Experimenter

I love to date.  I even think I'm pretty good at it.  So I'm going to share my experiences here.  I have some ideas about fun predicaments to get into to create some good stories.  And who knows!!  Maybe I'll hit a spark with someone along the way.

If you have ideas you'd like to share, adventures you'd like me to write about, unconventional places to meet these guys, let me know!!  This experiment is for my readers as much as for me.  So share.

Email me here